How often do you find yourself saying “Yes” to things or “I‘m fine” when really inside you are screaming “NO” or “I’m not fine”.
Do you find yourself being the “go to” person and take on things for others? Afraid of conflict or what might happen if you speak up or say no?
One thing that really sticks in mind from my own personal coaching experience was to “always speak your truth”. This involves staying connected with what you believe, how you feel, your values, your morals and your integrity. You have a right to your point of view and a responsibility to yourself to live the life you want to lead.
Without this you can spiral into overwhelm, anger, resentment and pain. You become powerless and despite your best efforts you succumb to the power of your inner critic and who are you hurting the most here? YOURSELF!
You have to trust yourself to make the right decisions or choices and to speak from your heart, no matter what other people say. Being true to yourself isn’t always easy and at times can be incredibly hard, but it is crucial if you want to look back without regrets. No one knows what’s best for you, except you and if you can “always speak your truth” it helps you to gain confidence and courage.
With our busy lives we don’t stop to think and ask ourselves ‘Is this what I want?’
Here are a few areas you can start exploring to find your truth.
Notice your body signals
Your body will show signals when you are not “speaking your truth”. Stress and overwhelm can be the result of not speaking your truth. Notice how tension arises when you next say yes to something, but really you want to say no.
Practice saying no to something small first and see how it feels.
Show compassion to yourself when things don’t go to plan
We often forget to show the compassion we show for others when we fail at something or make a mistake and we judge ourselves so harshly. Instead try to show yourself the kindness and understanding that you would to a friend when you get things wrong or are going through a difficult time.
Remember that no one said you had to be perfect.
Notice your inner critic
Be aware of your thoughts and emotions that come up in situations where you are trying to speak your truth. Your inner critic will try and protect you and stop you putting yourself out of your comfort zone. But these thoughts no longer serve you. By practising mindfulness it will help in developing your awareness of your thoughts and enable you to choose how to respond not your “inner critic”.
Keep a journal of when you have felt disconnected with your “truth” and notice any patterns or people where you have avoided speaking your truth.
Be forward thinking
You have to let go of the past and move forward. Regret, hurt, guilt and other bad feelings are barriers that prevent you from connecting with who you are now. To fully let go, you may need to forgive others. You are no longer that person, you are transforming and you are following a new path.
Redefine your story
With greater self-awareness comes confidence and determination. It can take time to figure out what you need and want from life, but when you have that picture in mind, you can start putting the pieces into place. As you make progress, you’ll continue to redefine your self-image and your story.
Coaching and mindfulness can help
One of the most powerful ways to reconnect with your true self and to find ways to speak up is through coaching and mindfulness. It can help you to picture where you were, the steps you’ve taken and what you have become. If you allow yourself time and space to explore who you are and what you need, it can be transformational.
Remember you are an amazing, positive, confident and strong person, who is capable of realising their goals.
Evelyn Kaluza | Wellbeing Coach